When i was still a student, i joined Catholic Youth groups (CSG, Lifefire and Upper Room). Whenever i have difficulties in life, when i need Jesus, these groups really help me alot. They have weekly gatherings which i can go to, to worship God with them. There i have friends who supported me in prayer. I had places to go when i need the Eucharist EVERYDAY. Yes, just to go to the Daily Mass, i would use my campus bus to go to the main gate of UMS and walk outside of my university to the nearest bus stop, to go to Church. Finish attending the daily Mass, i would use bas back, and from outside UMS, i would walk back to my hostel since by that time there won't be any campus bus at service. During weekend i would go to Church and have my confession first before i go attend the service Mass.
Jesus said to them, "I am the Bread of Life; whoever comes to me will never hunger, and whoever believes in me will never thirst." ~ John 6:35
Faith was available everywhere. i felt closer to God day by day. It was easy to maintain my faith there, with all these around, i just need to have my own effort on getting it. It was easy then than now. Life is so much harder now. I've posted about working in Company ABC before. Well, i haven't updated my working life yet, but for your information, i'm now working in the Health Ministry and i'm posted in a Clinic very far in a rural area (Rural Z), serving the locals there. Since i've arrived here in Rural Z, for the first time in my life, i feel very very far from God. I have never felt so empty and so dark in my life before. God was there but the walls that i built was too thick.
With my faith below negative Zero, i felt so helpless. Life was hard. I'm already used to the life where God always help and guide me in all things. Of course this was what i've asked, to work far from my hometown, to serve the people of God using the gifts which God has given me. But i never thought that it was this hard. Challenges came, yeah, it wasn't easy to handle. I know God was watching me all the time, but it seemed very hard to reach Him. I'm not a theologian, so i can't explain it. What i know is that, my sins and lack of faith has made it very hard to reach my God, eventhough He was near.
I know, i can't live without Him. Now i really-really know that. His love is all that i need. I need Him to give me life, to guide me along this path which i'm in. Again for the very first time, back to square one, struggling to break the walls which i built myself. I know and i believe He will be with me until the end of time. Yesterday He said in this verse to me, "Wait for the Lord; be strong, and let your heart take courage, wait for the Lord! ~ Psalms 27:14. Yes i will and i will not let myself fall deeper. He is My God! I claim Love and Faith In Jesus Name!
"So then, just as you received Christ Jesus as Lord, continue to live in Him, rooted and built up in Him, strengthened in the faith as you were taught, and overflowing with thankfulness." ~ Colossians 2:6-7
If you have catholic groups, be active! Always give all out to Him! Attend Weekly Mass. Go to Daily Mass if you can. All these can really help you stay closer to God besides your own private time with God! Do whatever it takes to be closer with Him. When we love some someone, we would want that person to love us back. It goes the same with God, He really wants us to love Him back. Well, He died for us. That's how much He would go to to get our love back. Today is Valentine's Day, and i would like to wish Daddy God, happy Valentine's Day because He is my no. 1 lover!
God bless you. :)
