Who is God in your life?

Few weeks ago, i had a weekend away to a very meaningful place in my life. A holiday, which i really need. I went to Kota Kinabalu, Sabah, just for the weekend (a place where i took my bachelor degree and where my faith grows so much). God is indeed a Great Planner. He scheduled a Leadership Seminar for me. It was two days ( saturday and sunday ) and on sunday night, He arrange for me to go to Upper Room (Young and Adult Working Youth Prayer Group), prayer meeting. (seriously, i didnt planned all of that, i just planned to go to Kota Kinabalu to relax) Haihh. God is awesome.

God really works wonders in my life. I've learn and experienced so much during my weekend away but i'm not going to talk about it in details. During this weekend away, God always reminded me, Who He is in my life. At the Leader Seminar and also the prayer meeting, during praise and worship and the sessions, they will always let you think and declare who God is in your life.

The disciples went and woke Him, saying, "Master, Master, we're going to drown". He got up and rebuked the wind and the ragging waters: the storm subsided, and all was calm. ~ Luke 8:24

My life is a total mess right now. Yup, heavy storm and to the point that i don't really know what to do. I still have my faith, shaken maybe by the storm, and that is when God whispers to me with a question, Who is He in my mess up life right now?

During all those good days, it's so easy to praise God and declare how good He really is but when the storm comes, sometimess i just forgot to let and allow God to be Who He is. I'm in the state of my life that i feel so much pain and hurt. I've never felt this much pain before. Oh yeah! It feels good. No..haha.

The Lord is my Shepherd, i have everything i need. ~ Psalms 23:1

Even with all of that has happened, how can i forgot WHO GOD IS? I can never, and will not let that happen. He is always with me ever since i was born. I can always know His presence. HE NEVER LEAVES ME! HOW CAN YOU SAY HE IS NOT THERE WITH YOU! HE MAY NOT DO ANYTHING THAT YOU EXPECT HIM TO DO, TADAAAAA SHOW HIMSELF INFRONT OF YOU, BUT HE IS THERE! YOU BELIEVE HIM OR NOT, HE IS STILL GOD! AND HE IS STILL THERE! HE NEVER LEAVES YOU!

AND SO TO MY PROBLEMS RIGHT NOW, GOD IS MY SHEPHARD, MY FATHER, YOU BETTER RUN, COZ HE IS COMING FOR YOU! Heeeeeee :p

So Who Is He in my total mess up life right now? HE IS MY STORM CALMER! The One that is always there for me. The One that is so excited whenever i call out to Him.

He showed me a very beautiful rainbow. I've never seen such beautiful rainbow in my life, it was a complete one. I can see where it starts and where it ends. It was so near that i can actually go to where the foot of the rainbow is and there is a whisper in my heart that He wants me to know that He will never let me feel this kind of hurt again. He will make things new again for me.

I have faith in You. It is not strong, but Your Love is. Please provide me with more faith Lord. Bless those who hurt me and those whom i hurt. May it be not according to my will, but Your will be done. Spirit come and never let me go...

Rooted And Built Up in Jesus

When i was still a student, i joined Catholic Youth groups (CSG, Lifefire and Upper Room). Whenever i have difficulties in life, when i need Jesus, these groups really help me alot. They have weekly gatherings which i can go to, to worship God with them. There i have friends who supported me in prayer. I had places to go when i need the Eucharist EVERYDAY. Yes, just to go to the Daily Mass, i would use my campus bus to go to the main gate of UMS and walk outside of my university to the nearest bus stop, to go to Church. Finish attending the daily Mass, i would use bas back, and from outside UMS, i would walk back to my hostel since by that time there won't be any campus bus at service. During weekend i would go to Church and have my confession first before i go attend the service Mass. 

Jesus said to them, "I am the Bread of Life; whoever comes to me will never hunger, and whoever believes in me will never thirst." ~ John 6:35

Faith was available everywhere. i felt closer to God day by day. It was easy to maintain my faith there, with all these around, i just need to have my own effort on getting it. It was easy then than now. Life is so much harder now. I've posted about working in Company ABC before. Well, i haven't updated my working life yet, but for your information,  i'm now working in the Health Ministry and i'm posted in a Clinic very far in a rural area (Rural Z), serving the locals there. Since i've arrived here in Rural Z, for the first time in my life, i feel very very far from God. I have never felt so empty and so dark in my life before. God was there but the walls that i built was too thick. 

With my faith below negative Zero, i felt so helpless. Life was hard. I'm already used to the life where God always help and guide me in all things. Of course this was what i've asked, to work far from my hometown, to serve the people of God using the gifts which God has given me. But i never thought that it was this hard. Challenges came, yeah, it wasn't easy to handle. I know God was watching me all the time, but it seemed very hard to reach Him. I'm not a theologian, so i can't explain it. What i know is that, my sins and lack of faith has made it very hard to reach my God, eventhough He was near.

I know, i can't live without Him. Now i really-really know that. His love is all that i need. I need Him to give me life, to guide me along this path which i'm in. Again for the very first time, back to square one, struggling to break the walls which i built myself. I know and i believe He will be with me until the end of time. Yesterday He said in this verse to me, "Wait for the Lord; be strong, and let your heart take courage, wait for the Lord! ~ Psalms 27:14. Yes i will and i will not let myself fall deeper. He is My God! I claim Love and Faith In Jesus Name! 

"So then, just as you received Christ Jesus as Lord, continue to live in Him, rooted and built up in Him, strengthened in the faith as you were taught, and overflowing with thankfulness." ~ Colossians 2:6-7

If you have catholic groups, be active! Always give all out to Him! Attend Weekly Mass. Go to Daily Mass if you can. All these can really help you stay closer to God besides your own private time with God! Do whatever it takes to be closer with Him. When we love some someone, we would want that person to love us back. It goes the same with God, He really wants us to love Him back. Well, He died for us. That's how much He would go to to get our love back. Today is Valentine's Day, and i would like to wish Daddy God, happy Valentine's Day because He is my no. 1 lover! 

God bless you. :)

Jesus It is You

I love God, He made me feel that i'm special. He never leaves me eventhough i try to rebel against Him. When I fall and run away from Him, He waits for me faithfully. He really is my true best friend. 

No one will be able to stand up against you all the days of your life. As I was with Moses, so I will be with you; I will never leave you nor forsake you. ~ Joshua 1:5

I really love You God. Thank You for loving me as i am. Thank You for never leaving me. You are always there for me when i need You. When no one comes to my aid/help, You, You, You, You, YOU ARE THERE. You always wait for me to call out Your Name. You are always there for me. ALWAYS. I love You God. I really do. I Love You. And i'm sorry for i don't love You perfectly. I miss You. I love You. I want You! God, thank you for the presence, the blessings which you always give me. Thank you for making me worthy to talk to You, to be with You. 

Mighty Saviour, i surrender all things, things which i am not capable to handle, i leave and surrender it to You. Take care of me. I know You are watching over me all the time. I know it! How can You hide Your presence God, when i can see You in all things. Your light is too bright to be hidden. Mighty God, guide me, guide me, guide me...Sometimes I really feel that i'm stupid because i can't handle things which other people can. I always need You. I always need You to help, to guide me. I can't do these things without Your help or Your strength. 

Jesus It Is You ~ by True Worshippers (Favor Album)

Father, it is You! It is You...It Is You Jesus who is always there for me. Mighty Lord. Saviour. Thank You. 

Dengan Kuasa Roh Kudus Mu, biarlah aku rendah di mata dunia, tetapi dekat di hatiMu. Dalam Nama Yesus Kristus, Tuhanku, Allahku....I love You.

In The Wilderness With The Lord

Selepas 10 tahun, ehh...1 tahun lebih bekerja, saya kian masuk lebih mendalam dalam dunia yang penuh misteri ini. (Teruk betul BM ku ni...hahahaha...).

My life now, how can i describe it. It's just normal. I go to work, go back home. At home i watch movies and anime in my laptop. Sometimes going out with friend. Since i dont have any commitment so far, i feel like my life is pointless, lifeless. Sometimes i ask myself, why is it that i feel alone and lifeless eventhough i have a Big God up there. Another mystery in my life yet to be revealed.

I'm (once again) in the point of my life where i dont know what to do or what i want. Being retarded for awhile...hehe...A thought came up to me that maybe its time for me to discern on whatever God wants me to do in life and yea, it's actually a good time for me to serve Him alone, as a Lone Ranger! I have plenty of quiet time now. 

One thing i know for sure, that He already plan something for me and He is directing my life to the path He has chosen. Yes, i believe in that. Eventhough i come to the point of life where i may not see His clear plans, i will not give up. This is my journey in the desert. Wandering for 40 years, that's a long long time (ehhhhh, what am i talking about here...haha..). Though i'm seeing desert everyday, i know for sure that one day if i don't give up, i will arrive at the place where God has promised to me. Yes, He will provide me with everything i need like syampu, shaver, icecream and all the food i can eat. haha.

For forty years You sustained them in the wilderness; they lacked nothing, their clothes did not wear out nor did their feet become swollen. ~ Nehemiah 9:21 

Let this song express my feelings right now.

Hatiku Percaya ~ Edward Chen

See ya'll and God bless.

My Godly Given Job

I would like to share my story of how God gave me a job as a Nutritionist in ABC Company (ohh, that is not the real name of the company, have to censor it, just incase...hehe). He is indeed an amazing God. My story may not be the same as others as the way God works in each one of us is very unique in His own way, yet let me boast about His amazing kindness to me.

Let me bring you back to 2011, it was in the middle of June where i had finished my Final Year Project (FYP) as a Final Year Student of Food Science and Nutrition. I finally manage to finish my 4 years study and i was back in my hometown, Kuching. I was relieved actually because i did have some difficulties completing my FYP but by God's Grace and Mighty Help, i was able to go through with it ( i seriously mean it, no kidding man, wonders did happened, fuhhh. Thank God its over.)

I was not planning on getting any long "holidays" for myself after that 4 great and amazing years of study. So 1 week after i returned to Kuching, i finally manage to get myself a temporary job as a cashier in Ngiukee Departmental Store with my friend Jessie whom i believe is a God sent friend. I was really happy working there and had no worries about my future job, because deep down in my heart i know God has already plan something great for me. So due to that, i enjoyed myself in Ngiukee without any worries of the future.

For I know the plans I have for you, declares The Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future ~ Jeremiah 29:11

Two months (plus plus) had past and i havn't applied for any jobs related to my Degree. I was so confident in my heart that God has already "reserved" a good job for me. However one night, when i was having dinner with friends, Jessie and Dannison, at an "open air" hawker stalls (101 food court), i met my coursemate, Sharon. Had a good conversation with her and surprise to know that she got a job as a Nutritionist in small company. That information really had my heart sank deep down the deepest ocean. It made me started to worry about my future carrier. I wasn't planning on staying in Ngiukee as a cashier for a long time yet i'm not doing anything to get a better job. On my way driving back home, i was litterally shouting in my car, calling Jesus! I was asking help from Him. I can't help it, with this little faith that i have, i was worrying so much. My soul was crying out! ( ohh this part, very hard to explain.)

Starting from that night onwards, i keep on talking to God about my future carrier. Almost every night my heart shouts out His Name, "JESUS". I started to apply for jobs on the internet and I managed to get an interview for Nutritionist post in Watsons. The interview was at Miri, so i used bus and the travel took 14 hours of journey. I was all alone, and this was my first job interview. Was a bit nervous but i know God was with me. Reaching there, i had the opportunity to had lunch with my auntie at her house. She lived in a small cute house. She even prayed and assured that God will help me. Another awesome thing happened is that i saw a Kenyalang, a very rare bird at the back of my auntie's house (I say that because you can only find that at museums as it is very very rare and about to extinct). Had the interview with the Retail Manager, and right at that moment, i know that i won't get the job. He offered me the Store Manger position instead but i declined (knowing for sure that it is not for me). I reflected a lot during the journey, learned and experience so much in those two days journey. It was as if God purposely gave me the experience as a personal "retreat" for me.

I finally decided to quit my job as a cashier in Ngiukee because i felt that it's going to be very hard for me to stay there and trying to find a new job at the same time. So i stayed at home, eat and sleep :) . One day, when i was talking to God, i remembered about the story of my friend in Kota Kinabalu, Sabah, Anne, how she got her current job. She listed down her job criteria that she wants and ask for it in details from God. Guess what. She really get the job that she wanted based on the criteria that she asked for.  At that moment after i remembered this, i ask God in details about the job that i wanted.

The criteria that i asked for:-

1. Working in Kuching (my hometown)

2. As a nutritionist (using my degree)

3. A degree Salary 

That was it. Somehow when i prayed this, i had a confident feeling, but i don't know how to describe it. As usual after i prayed this, there was no angel singing, no heavenly light, nor an earthquake happened. :) 1 or 2 days after i prayed this, i received a call from ABC Company calling me for an interview. I was really surprise at this! I don't even know that company. I even thought it was from Nestle.

And we are confident that He hears us whenever we ask for anything that pleases Him. And since we know He hears us when we make our request, we also know that He will give us what we ask for. ~ 1 John 5:14

The interview went well and i have been working in this Company for 1 year (plus plus) since 1st September 2011 as a Nutritionist. I was really blessed with this job and i even started working here before i graduated and received my Degree Certificate. This job was given to me by God and He gave it knowing that this is the best for me at the moment. I don't even deserved this job but He made it possible. He is Awesome and Great! Powerful and Mighty! My Alpha and Omega! My Hope and Savior.

This was what God had done to me. Many have asked for a job from God and yet haven't got one, which is true. God works in a mysterious way that we humans can't fully understand. One things for sure, we must be brave enough to let His Spirit guide us on a quest which He has specially planned for each and everyone of us. God wants us to be happy. That is true, He really wants us to be happy but bear in mind. The real Happiness that He wants to give is The Everlasting Happiness that we cannot find here on Earth but only through Him, with Him and in Him who reigns forever. Amen.